CHAPTER 2

SEEING AND THINKING SOCIOLOGICALLY

Macro-Micro Connection

Family Care for Elderly Parents

Fundamental changes in society often produce role conflict. For instance, the past several decades have witnessed a dramatic shift in the age structure of American society. More people are living into their 80s and 90s, but at the same time couples are having fewer children. That is, the American family is expanding vertically (more generations living per family) and shrinking horizontally (fewer individuals per generation). Thus, as life expectancy increases, fewer siblings are around to share in caring for elderly parents.1

Many more people than ever before are having to cope with the burden of caring for elderly parents in addition to the usual demands of work and family. The typical pattern is that sons offer financial assistance, and daughters and daughters-in-law (particularly women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s) provide the time-consuming, hands-on care.

More than 6 million elderly Americans now need help with such everyday basics as getting out of bed, eating, dressing, bathing, and using the bathroom.2 An estimated 80% of informal care for frail elders is provided by family caregivers. Many elderly parents end up moving in with their children.3

Much attention has been paid to the fact that adult female children may be caught between the responsibilities of providing care to their frail parents or parents-in-law while simultaneously taking care of their own dependent children. A survey by the Travelers Corporation in 1985 found that, even then, about one out of every five female employees over the age of 30 was providing some care to an elderly parent.4 These caretaking responsibilities can last 10 years or more.

However, recent research suggests that the problem of conflicting responsibilities may not be as common as once thought.5 For instance, as life expectancy increases, caregiving responsibilities should begin at later stages for adult children, reducing the possibility of competing demands on the caregiver from older and younger generations. By the time elderly parents become frail, chances are that a caregiver's own children will be grown and hence less dependent.6

Nevertheless, for those who are caught between conflicting role obligations, time and energy spent caring for elderly parents often comes at the expense of other family or occupational roles. Many women who provide care to elderly parents are forced to spend less time with their husbands and children. The resulting resentment and frustration may ultimately threaten the structure of family life.

Although unpaid family leave is now available to many workers, the demands of caring for a frail elderly parent force some women to make hard choices. They either have to reduce or stop work or have to find professionalóand costlyóinstitutional care. Some have had to switch to part-time work, pass up promotions, or quit their jobs altogether. A study by the American Association of Retired Persons estimated that 14% of all part-time adult female workers had left their full-time jobs because of caregiving responsibilities. Of those not employed but who once had jobs, 27% had taken early retirement or simply quit.7

These sorts of decisions often produce feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and resentment. A woman who quit her job to care for her mother, who had developed Alzheimer's disease, echoes the thoughts of many:

I felt like I was going under. I couldn't do my job because I was pretty much in pieces. I was furious at my brother who didn't help at all. My 15-year-old daughter is mad at me because I am so engaged with my mother. My son has stopped visiting me. And the friends who had been wonderful and supportive through the birth of my babies and my divorce just faded away now that I need them the most. I am alternately so sad about my mother's decline that I can't stop crying and so enraged that my life is being messed up that I want to dump her. I used to think I was good at crises, but this just goes on and on, and I'm falling apart.8

The effects of this sort of role conflict go beyond the emotional difficulties experienced by individual caregivers to the very structure of society. As the elderly population continues to grow and more families are faced with these sorts of dilemmas, the economic structure of society, as well as the fundamental structure of the American family, will be severely strained. In the end, the government may have to become more involved in the lives of those affected, a development that will have ramifications for all Americans.

1Sherman, S. R., Ward, R. A., & LaGory, M. 1988. "Women as caregivers of the elderly: Instrumental and expressive support." Social Work, March-April, 164-167.
2Beck, M. 1990. "Be nice to your kids." Newsweek, March 12.
3Morgan, L. & Kunkel, S. 1998. Aging: the social context. Thousand Oaks, CA: Pine Forge Press.
4Lewin, T. 1989. "Aging parents: Women's burden grows." New York Times, November 14.
5Morgan, L. & Kunkel, S. 1998. Aging: the social context. Thousand Oaks, CA: Pine Forge Press.
6Cantor, M.H. 1995. "Families and caregiving in an aging society." In L. Burton (Ed.), Families and aging, Amityville, NY: Baywood.
7Lewin, T. 1989. "Aging parents: Women's burden grows." New York Times, November 14.
8Quoted in Lewin, T. 1989. "Aging parents: Women's burden grows." New York Times, November 14, p. B12.