Concepts of Human Growth and Development

As Penny points out, all people with autism are different and it is misleading to try to generalise about them (see below for more on autism). This is also true of the whole field of disability, which is described by the World Health Organization as ‘complex, dynamic, multi-dimensional and contested’ (WHO World Report on Disability, 2011, quoted in HGD: 202). Penny’s use of the term ‘neurodiversity’ captures this in relation to the autistic spectrum. Models of cognitive development like Piaget’s may not lend themselves very well to someone like Jack, who has developed quite advanced skills in some areas (music), but not in others. People on the autistic spectrum have a particular problem in developing a theory of mind (HGD: 92) that enables them to see the world from others’ points of view as well as their own. This is what Penny means when she says that Jack can’t tune in to the world around him.

In terms of models of emotional development like Erikson’s, there will be obstacles to Jack’s achievement of the favourable outcomes that Erikson proposes at each of his stages (HGD: 49). But we can see here how Penny, and Jack’s teachers, are doing what they can to encourage his sense of security, self-esteem, competence and achievement, though he will probably always find the world a bewildering place when things don’t go according to plan. Some of the limitations to Jack’s development will be socially constructed, that is, imposed by the failure of the world around him to understand and make adaptations to his needs and enable him to reach his full potential (the social model of disability (HGD: 201). Because of this, he may find it difficult in due course to be recognised as an adult as he comes up against the stereotype of people with learning difficulties as ‘forever children’ (Wolfensberger, 1998, quoted in HGD: 218).

Things are becoming harder for Jack and his family as he makes the transition into adolescence. It is harder to manage his behaviour when he gets angry and distressed as his emotional development, and his capacity to self-regulate, is not keeping pace with his physical growth and development. The developmental task of adolescence is establishing autonomy and an adult identity, and both Penny and Max are aware of how difficult, perhaps impossible, this will be for Jack. Max is reminded of it, and saddened by it, when he listens to Gloria’s son Gary talking enthusiastically about his activities and interests, and Penny shares her worries about Jack’s future in her email to Alison, but they are unable to talk to each other about it.

There is another transition in prospect for the family too, as Sarah prepares to go off to university. This in itself is a significant stage in the family life cycle (HGD: 233), which requires the whole family system to make changes. In the Sullivan family Sarah has been an important part of Jack’s support system, and when she is no longer there this will throw more pressure on the system, which at the moment is being maintained largely by Penny. The weekend when Sarah was away gave a foretaste of this. Sarah herself may react to this transition in a number of different ways. She may go on being the child whose achievements are the focus of her parents’ pride, or she may take the opportunity to escape from what may be a foreclosure of her own identity development (HGD: 154) and experiment with new ways of being a young adult. All young adults will have mixed feelings about leaving home, but in addition Sarah may have some quite realistic anxieties about how her parents and Jack will cope without her. We do not know how the experience of having a brother with special needs will have affected her; the research findings on this are mixed (HGD: 213).

The transition of a young adult leaving the parental home is also a marker for the parents of their own transition to the life stage of middle adulthood (HGD: 189), which brings with it an awareness of ageing and a need to refocus, and reappraise one’s identity (see Activity 8.3, HGD: 192). There are signs that Penny is very aware of this; her anxiety about Jack’s future, though not fully spelt out, is about whether he will be able to manage his life independently or whether he will always need care, and if so, who will provide it when she and Max are no longer able to do so. She also voices her concerns about her marriage. This stage of life involves a letting go of dreams (HGD: 190) and dealing with the loss involved in that. We can see that Max is struggling with this now as he has it brought home to him acutely through his contact with Gary that Jack will never be the kind of son he has dreamed of.

Speaking of loss, it looks as if Max is dealing now with the unresolved grief surrounding the initial diagnosis of Jack’s autism. This is a complex process for the family of a child with a developmental impairment of any kind, which has something in common with a bereavement (HGD: 210). It is a horizontal stressor (HGD: 229) which affects the family system at that moment, and which will be complicated by whatever vertical stressors parents and other family members carry from their previous histories. We can only guess at what these might be for Max and Penny.

It is apparently Max who is finding it so difficult to cope with Jack at the moment, but it may not be as simple as that. We need to consider the possibility that there are unconscious processes going on between the couple involving splitting and projection (HGD: 34ff, 46ff). Melanie Klein’s developmental theory emphasises how difficult it is for us to accept the idea of ambivalence; that we can simultaneously have positive and negative feelings towards the same object. It is easier and less confusing to split the positive feelings from the negative ones, and this is what Max and Penny may be doing here in relation to Jack, with Max expressing all the negative feelings; disappointment, loss, and avoidance, while Penny expresses the positive feelings; a fierce attachment, pride and commitment. But in reality, both parents are bound to have mixed feelings about Jack (as all parents do to some degree about their role, which is both extremely demanding and extremely rewarding). So Penny is projecting her negative feelings into Max, which means that she will not be in touch with them herself. Meanwhile, Max is in danger of losing touch with his positive feelings about Jack because Penny is expressing and acting on the positive parental feelings so energetically to advocate for Jack. This leaves little space for Max to find a role for himself as Jack’s father, and leaves him feeling deskilled and inadequate, so he deals with this by withdrawing from the family situation. The reverse is also true of course, and is perhaps more obvious: by withdrawing from the family, Max leaves Penny with the main responsibility for Jack, which means she has to suppress her own negative feelings in order to give him the care he needed. We suggested in Case Study F that this kind of split between the two parents is more common this way around than with the genders reversed: there are still strong cultural expectations that caring roles are primarily played by women (there is discussion on this in Chapter 6). They may not have consciously wanted to do so, but they have created between them a powerful family system (see Chapter 10) in which each is to some extent trapped in a certain role. When finally Penny and Max do try to talk to each other about their feelings they quickly revert to their familiar positions and the dialogue ends. They are likely to need professional help if they are to be able to preserve their relationship and find a way of dealing with Jack’s needs together.