David and Christie – Christie is the 26-year-old mother of a 2-year-old daughter, Cristelle. She returned to her work as an employee assistance plan counselor 4 months ago after being off on a maternity leave. One month after returning to work she separated from her husband John. She has recently moved in with her parents, who she says are caring grandparents but have many opinions about parenting that sometimes cause stresses. Christie says she is not feeling much empathy for clients at work and not getting along with workmates.

In this excerpt, previously seen as Scaffolding questions in Chapter Ten, David and Christie are in a final session. Over the months they have worked together, Christie has learned to cope with the shock of being a single mom. She is feeling more comfortable living with her parents and giving them a role in caretaking her daughter Cristelle. At work, she’s started to recover the sense of compassion that was missing in relation to her counselling clients and her colleagues. David invites Christie to name her learnings in order to consolidate them further. How does he introduce this notion? What questions does he ask to help Christie distil her reflections? What phrase does she use to summarize a key learning? What additional question does David ask when he senses Christie's answers may be too vague to be taken up by other young mothers seeking guidance? How does Christie explain what has made it possible for her to make the changes she describes? What aspects of the counselor’s practice might you have done similarly/differently?

Analysis

Towards the end of working with a client it can be useful to review the gains made as a way to support the client as they prepare to carry on without what is often a treasured weekly conversation with their counselor. This is all about “making meaning” as seen throughout the chapters of the text. Reviewing and describing in detail the various preferred developments initiated by clients helps to consolidate them. David first makes sure Christie ahs a general overview of some of the things she has done. He then introduces a stylized question, inviting her to imagine she’s writing a handbook, as a way to ensure she details precisely the steps she has taken to move forward in life. Christie uses the phrase “Keeping it separate”. While acknowledging this, David also acts as devil’s advocate to press her to also account for how she managed to do this. David introduces an additional notion—that he is the editor—to press her for more detail. Christie comes up with the term “Cutting myself some slack” and David helps her to link it with “Keeping it separate”. This process of meaning making can go on indefinitely. Towards the end, Christie has added new language about “refuelling” and “Talking it through”.

This is still part of David’s final session with Christie . Here he is building further on an exchange featured in this chapter as Taking stock of client learnings, inviting Christie to continue to name and describe that significant changes she’s made, as well as reflecting on their significance. What stylized question does David use here to help Christie look at herself through the eyes of an admiring other? How does he ensure the person Christie picks will have a detailed view of the changes she’s made? What does David ask to ensure the description is grounded in concrete detail? Christie highlights the decision to keep her infant daughter Cristelle at home with Christie's parents, rather than placing her in daycare. How does David expand the reflections from what Christie did to what qualities were involved in taking the steps she took? What aspects of the counselor’s practice might you have done similarly/differently?

Analysis

Even better than imagining what an admiring acquaintance might say about the changes they have witnessed in a client over the course of several therapeutic conversations, is to have them come to a session and share their observations with the client present. When this is not possible, it can be useful for a client to view the changes they have made through the eyes of someone they feel has witnessed and taken note of them. For clients who feel reluctant to “blow their own horns” this can be a way to gain a more precise picture of the changes they have made than if you asked them directly.

Here, Christie chooses to look at herself through Sylvia’s eyes, because Sylvia has been a close and supportive friend who has witnessed many changes over the past months. David takes care here to ensure the view from Sylvia’s perspective is specific and concrete, because generalizations like “be strong” are difficult to act upon. David is also careful to link Christie's answers to his earlier questions in order to help Christie make the connections.

Having reviewed some of the changes Christie has made, David invites her to anticipate the sort of situations that could lead to a “backslide” so that she can better prepare for the when they come up. How does David introduce this idea and what does he do to prepare Christie for answering the question? What are the potential slippery slopes for Christie and what useful responses to these does she anticipate? What does David ask to ensure Christie paints a clear picture of how to deal with these situations? What aspects of the counselor’s practice might you have done similarly/differently?

Analysis

“Relapse prevention” is a term sometimes used to prepare for situations that could re-ignite difficulties. It can be useful in finishing up work with a client to join them in anticipating the contexts that threaten to cancel the gains made. Here, the notion of the “slippery slope” becomes a metaphor for this possibility, and David supports Christie in examining where that slope might appear both at home with her daughter and parents, as well as at work. Anticipating the risk of backslides is part of the process; the second part is to prepare for these by identifying potential helpful responses to the situations that might arise. As always, David is careful here to ensure Christie's description of those responses is detailed and concrete.

In this last session with Christie , David invites her to share how she’s feeling about wrapping up their work together. What are the key feelings she reports? What does David do to support Christie in carrying the work forward in her life? What does he say to let Christie know that ending now does not preclude the possibility of future conversations? What aspects of the counselor’s practice might you have done similarly/differently?

Analysis

When counselling is successful, it outlives its usefulness. There comes a time when a client is ready to discontinue weekly therapeutic conversations, and this significant rite of passage deserve acknowledgment and reflection. This brief exchange is an example of the kind of conversation that might happen over more than one session when a client and counselor have had a longstanding relationship, or when a client feels particularly ambivalent about ending counselling. After learning of Christie's mixed emotions about the end of their work together, David asks about who Christie might turn to in her own circle when she’s looking for a sounding board. He also reminds Christie that he will continue to be available to her—often a comforting thought for a client who may be feeling insecure about “going it alone”.