Feeling Reflections (emotions or physical sensations)—builds the relationship best

Weaknesses: 

• none if done well, but if done superficially or with too many parroting remarks, you go in circles.
   

Strengths:

• Client feels heard and validated
   
• Therapist is confident she understands the client
   
• Takes the client deeper into feelings
   
• Strengthens the relationship
   
• Client gets to lead
   

Content Reflections (parts of the content or summarizations)

Weaknesses:

• Doesn’t add depth
   
• Doesn’t validate feelings
   

Strengths:

• Client knows you are following content
   
• Able to get clarification
   

Reflection of Discrepancy/Confrontations (part of you… and part of you…)

Weaknesses:

• Too many, and the client feels invalidated
   
• Hurts self esteem
   

Strengths:

• Helps client own polarities within her
   
• Increases awareness of suppressed or denied parts
   

Questions (intonation or who, what, where, how…)

Weaknesses:

• Too many, and the client interrogated
   
• Keeps client in her head
   
• Therapist is leading
   

Strengths:

• Deepens thought processes; exploration
   
• Can get specific information wanted by the therapist
   
• Great for assessment
   

Supportive Statements (good job or it will be okay)—harms the relationship

Weaknesses:

• Invalidates or minimizes clients feelings
   
• Creates and external locus of control
   

Strengths:

• It is our natural way of speaking
   

Directing Behavior (experiments or advice)

Weaknesses:

• Makes client dependent on therapist if advice works well
   
• Makes therapist responsible if advice goes bad
   
• No one takes advice anyway.
   

Strengths:

• Sometimes simple behavioral suggestions change thoughts and feelings
   
• Setting up experiments in session can break the monotony
   
• Education for lower functioning clients is sometimes helpful
   
• Depending on culture, some clients expect a certain amount of advice
   

Self-Disclosure (“me, too” or answering direct questions from client or my experience of you in session)

Weaknesses:

• The session becomes about the therapist
   
• The client can avoid difficult moments in session by asking a direct question
   

Strengths:

• Sometimes giving a client a direct answer is necessary, culturally. Be aware of motivation for question.
   
• Makes the relationship more real, because you are in a relationship
   
• Giving your perception and feedback that’s hard to hear is necessary at times.
   

Silence: (more than 8 seconds long)

Weaknesses:

• The ball is in your court as therapist and you don’t know what to say = AKWARD!
   
• Creates too much anxiety for client
   

Strengths:

• Client might be thinking or getting in touch with feelings, which are slow processes and require silence on the part of the therapist.
   
• Allows client to break the silence allows the client to lead
   
• If prefaced with, “give me a moment to think about what you said” it let’s the client know that the therapist is really working hard and cares about what she’s going to say next.
   

Small Talk: (How are you?)

Weaknesses:

• They are paying for your time for help, not to be a friend
   
• Allows the client to avoid meaningful issues
   

Strengths:

• Culturally, it’s sometimes necessary at the beginning of the relationship; check out the motivation